


If You Were Church (I'd Get On My Knees)

by ThePineScentedAir



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Character Study, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 08:56:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13678446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePineScentedAir/pseuds/ThePineScentedAir
Summary: Faith, the Clave asked, demanded, left no room for anything but compliance. Faith as order, an imposed will crushing your own. Faith asobedience.Knee shifts, rug scrapes, eyes blink. Magnus, there and gone and there again.Faith with Magnus astrust. Trust that he will be there between one blink and the next, faith that anything they face they face together. Magnus’s hand on his chest, pressing him down into the bed sheets, sliding against him for the first time.FaithMagnus won’t break him.Trustthat he can be vulnerable around him.---Or, Alec discovers that the words he knew under the Clave have a different meaning when he's with Magnus. A sort of character study of Alec while he's with Magnus.





	If You Were Church (I'd Get On My Knees)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [soundsaboutright](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soundsaboutright/gifts).



> Hello! This was inspired by the amazing soundsaboutright! Her writing is beautiful and it inspired me to try something new with this story. I know it's not my usual writing style but I hope you enjoy it! And you should definitely go check out her stories because I can't say enough good things about them. 
> 
> Song title comes from "Church" by Fall Out Boy and I definitely recommend you listen to it while reading this. I definitely listened to it while writing. Any and all mistakes are my own.

Alec never learned what it means to worship, he realizes as his gaze locks with Magnus’s. The Clave has a central doctrine, rooted in dogma, he supposes, but it’s not a religion in the mundane sense. At least, he never thought so. It’s always been rules and order and unwavering discipline from the very beginning.

His knee sinks to the ground, gaze still locked with Magnus’s. The rug scratches against his bare skin but he relishes in the discomfort.

_Faith_ , the Clave asked, demanded, left no room for anything but compliance. Faith as order, an imposed will crushing your own. Faith as _obedience_.

Knee shifts, rug scrapes, eyes blink. Magnus, there and gone and there again.

Faith with Magnus as _trust_. Trust that he will be there between one blink and the next, faith that anything they face they face together. Magnus’s hand on his chest, pressing him down into the bed sheets, sliding against him for the first time. _Faith_ Magnus won’t break him. _Trust_ that he can be vulnerable around him.

Magnus’s fingers under his jaw, tilting his head back. Gazing down at him with something beautiful in his eyes that’s hidden behind the prominent expression on his face. Dominance, control. But in his eyes: praise 

_Praise_ , weakness, must you have everyone’s approval? Praise as _arrogance_. Praise has no business in the Clave. They beat it out of you when you’re young ( _so young_ ) at the same time they teach you obedience. _Faith in the Clave._

But Magnus’s _eyes_. Alec can’t turn away, wouldn’t even if he wanted to as his other knee finds purchase on the floor. Those deep and old eyes that hold so much. Those eyes that can’t hide anything from him.

With Magnus, praise as _love_. Adoration. The warmth of Magnus’s arms around him and his whispered words of encouragement and love. The tilt of his head in amusement when Alec does or says something that surprises him. The press of Magnus’s lips to his temple when their bodies are connected, tethering Alec to the present, to the moment, with love.

Magnus’s body above him, loose and bare. Beautiful tan skin stretched over taunt muscles. A temple, holy in its existence.

_Holy_ and _sacred_ in the Clave as untouchable. Distant. _Display_. Even the marriage rune is mostly for show. The grand ceremony and marking just to bind two people together who never had a choice in the first place. _Obedience. Faith._

But Magnus. Magnus the holy, sacred temple Alec is free to touch. Holy, _meant_ to be touched. To bathe in, let wash over him until he and Magnus are one. Until he is holy, too. Basking in the temple of Magnus’s body, not just a place to gather ( _Clave, temple, gather, train, teach_ ) but built for touching, giving and taking, built for _worship_.

Alec’s gaze breaks from Magnus’s, his eyes sliding closed as he leans forward and wraps his lips around Magnus’s cock. He never had a need for the word worship. The word never belonged in the Clave’s teachings.

But here, on his knees, it washes over him like a religious experience. In moments like this, giving everything over to worshiping Magnus body and soul. Taking care of Magnus, giving Magnus everything he needs whether he knows it himself or not. Alec, on his knees with lips open like taking communion, he gives Magnus everything and receives everything in return.

_Trust_ ; faith. _Adoration_ ; praise. _Touch_ , until he is holy as Magnus, until he feels a part of Magnus in a way no one could separate them. Until _worship_ is just as much about Magnus as it is about him.

In Magnus, Alec finds _sanctuary_. In Magnus, Alec finds _peace_.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think and come say hi on [tumblr](http://thepinescentedair.tumblr.com/)!


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